Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
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You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
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Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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