So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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