dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
