she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Is Oprah even human
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
