Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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