try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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