I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
