I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
