Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
You smell like stripper and shame
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize