Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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