Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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