I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
