Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
