I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
