you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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