Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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