I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize
