I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
