you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I understand Curling. That high.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Randomize