Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
