He is such a slut. More and more my type.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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