Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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