And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
