I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
