My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize