You're so nebulous sometimes
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
