I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Randomize
