Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Randomize
