we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!