she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.