I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I forgot how hot balto sounded
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
