my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Randomize