the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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