I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
