he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
