wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
