I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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