so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
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I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
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