I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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