brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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