i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
