Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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