Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
