So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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