Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
