She's JV to your varsity
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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