hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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