she smelled like a LAN party
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
