if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
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