Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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