i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
it's great music for shaving your balls
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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