Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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