so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
