i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
