I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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