Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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