i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize