yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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