my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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