I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
