remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
