My nipple is on Facebook.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF