If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.