Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
27 Hairstyles That Always Come With A Matching Personality
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.