Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

My nipple is on Facebook.

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(407): View more from Florida

I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes

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(443): View more from Maryland

why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?

(410): View more from Maryland

haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background

(443): View more from Maryland

that only happened once.

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(303): View more from Colorado

You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad

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17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Read it at the TFLN blog
(607): View more from New York

haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.

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(318): View more from Louisiana

So my game is weak??

(501): View more from Arkansas

If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.

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(251): View more from Alabama

how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go

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(203): View more from Connecticut

you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF

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