I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I need a burrito and a hug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
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