I want to walk on stilts...naked
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Randomize
