peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
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